Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Fat Assassins by Marita Fowler: Character Interview & Excerpt

Southern style sweet-potatoes Shasta and Ulyssa have stuck together through thick and thin since their escape from third grade fat camp. But on one dark day, they both find themselves unemployed. A hazardous job hunt sees them turn down egg harvesting, drug dealing and phone sex before they settle for an exterminator job. Confusing mafia lingo leaves the girls thinking they’re being interviewed to cope with a rodent infestation. Confident that they can handle the job, they oversell their skills and demand half payment up front to seal the deal. Skeptical at first, the mob boss decides to hire this unlikely pair when he mistakes their attitude for professional stoicism.
The girls are shocked when presented with a target profile and an envelope full of cash. They want out, but it’s too late. The mob doesn’t allow do-overs. And certainly not when they’re whacking one of their own. The clock is ticking and when the body count is still zero after multiple attempts, the boss decides to bring in additional assassins to finish the job and tie up loose ends. And the girls just happen to be one of those loose ends.

Kindle version is FREE on MARCH 27th!!

Laurie: Welcome Shasta and Ulyssa! Thanks for stopping by today.

Ulyssa: No problem.

Shasta: Thanks for having us.

Laurie: Well, Let’s jump right in, OK? I have so many burning questions!  Who were your heroes growing up?

Ulyssa: Wonder Woman! We used to spend hours spinning in circles wearing our Wonder Woman underoos, pretending we were superhereos. Plus, she had those awesome bracelets that could deflect bullets. We used to throw rocks at each other and practice deflecting ‘em with our wrists.

 Shasta: Remember how we used to chase cars down the street and jump in front of them, grabbing the bumper to stop them with our Wonder Woman strength. And that one time you bellyflopped straight on the hood, hugging the windshield and screaming “They’re getting away!”.

Ulyssa: Oh, gawd. I forgot about that... scared the crap outta that elderly couple. They stopped driving on the road past our house after that day.
Laurie: Was that the scariest moment in your life? If not, what was?

Shasta: Shoot that was nothing. We used to do crazy stuff like that all the time.

Ulyssa: We almost died in a house fire. That was probably the scariest moment. We were having a slumber party at our friend, Cara’s house when the trailer caught on fire.

Shasta: Well, to be fair, we started the fire. We were trying to roast marshmallows on a kerosene lamp after Cara’s parents went to bed. We accidentally knocked the lamp over and the shag carpet combusted.

Ulyssa: Nobody got hurt, but her parents moved away shortly after that...they thought we were bad influences and that was the end of our Charlie’s Angels club.

 Laurie: What do you love most about your hometown, Nitro WV? Have you ever thought about leaving?

Shasta: (sigh) Deputy Hodde.

Ulyssa: Folks in Nitro are survivors. We’re a scrappy bunch who won’t back away from a tough situation. There are a few snobbish folks, but for the most part, everybody would give ya the shirt off their back. That’s what I love about our town. I’m pretty happy here with no plans to leave, but I would like take a vacation to a foreign country.

 Laurie: What country would like to visit on vacation?

Shasta: Italy. It would be cool to tour some vineyards, stomp some grapes and learn how they get wine into the box.

Ulyssa: Ireland. Irish guys have sexy accents and tough attitudes. Maybe I could find me an Irish badboy, like the guys from Boondock Saints.

 Laurie: So, you’re big movie buffs. What do you think of the zombie craze? Are zombies realistic?

Ulyssa:  Lord, I hope not. Cause they’d be looking at us like we look at Chinese buffets.

 Shasta: I don’t like scary movies. I have a good imagination and freak myself out too easily. When we watched the Exorcism of Emily Rose, I woke up at 4AM every morning convinced there was a demon in the trailer.

Ulyssa: I regret talking her into watching it too ‘cause when she got freaked out, she turned on every light in the trailer and started vacuuming to scare off any evil spirits.

 Laurie: What kind of movie do you like?
Shasta:  Romantic comedies, but action films are a close second.

Ulyssa:  I love good crime movies. The courtroom scenes are the best.

Laurie: I love good crime dramas and action movies, too! Well, I know you both have places to be, but thanks for stopping by and talking to us today. It’s been great finding out a little more about you and I look forward to reading about your future adventures.

Fat Assassins will be free today (27 March)!  Get your copy now http://www.amazon.com/Fat-Assassins-Adventure-ebook/dp/B006HWFA8W

Marita Fowler is the author of Fat Assassins - the first in a series of size positive adventure books.

Marita lives in Virginia with her husband, David. 

She has worked in the computer and security industry since 1992. While she continues her professional cybersecurity career at Department of Homeland Security - she enjoys writing in her free time.

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Disincentive said...

I heard good things about this book! :D I would love to read it.

Disincentive said...

Oh and for giveaway question - I fall in love in a lot of paranormal characters. I usually find one in every paranormal book I read ;)

Lori said...

The Tale of the Body Thief, by Anne Rice, is my favorite paranormal book because it was such a fun ride from start to finish!