Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Funny Fruit by Grant and Gary Reed: Tens List with Excerpt









TENS LIST


10 Things I Would Most Want With Me 
If I Was Stranded on an Island – By Grant

  1. My wife would have to be there. Because then she couldn’t say I never take her anywhere. Also, she’d be better at climbing the trees for coconuts. Why suffer alone?

  1. I need a machete. Generic I know, but those things are damn handy! I can build a hut and fight off wild animals with it. On the topic of a hut, it has to be a tree house…right? Robin Crusoe style!!

  1. Flint. Have to have fire for boiling water!! I suppose I could make it interesting and say a magnifying glass. This way I could also become king of the ants as well as ‘Master of the fire’.

  1. Marshmallows –the wife will be very angry if we have a fire without marshmallows – you wouldn’t like her when she’s angry!!

  1. Fishing rod  and Tackle. I love fishing. So if it’s an island, I have to have my rod and tackle. See how I combined the two to only use up one spot on my list!! Pretty smart eh?

  1. A lifetime supply of cargo shorts. I don’t do grass skirts. They can be airdropped in or wash up on the beach every few weeks…Different colors would be nice too, you know to keep things fresh!

  1. Sun block. I’ve had my share of sunburns over the years, and if I only have shorts and no tee-shirt, it’s going to get painful.

  1. A supply of rum. It can be in barrels or in jugs I don’t mind either. It will make some awesome fruity drinks to go with the lobster and fish dinners I will be preparing….

  1. Wait a second I guess I need a pot too. Can’t boil water and cook lobster in coconut shells. But they do make fine rum glasses, so that will save an item from the list!


  1. A boat and motor. Because I mean really…how long can you stay on a deserted island before you go stark raving mad? I’m willing to guess it’s about as long as the marshmallows last!




Funny Fruit
by Grant and Gary Reed



BLURB:

After ninety years of warring, exploring, and saving the realm, brothers Yarl and Fonn, must take up the title of Master again. If they don’t, someone else will surely steal all the fame, glory, and fertile women. How will they ever train new apprentices, save the kingdom, and still find time to fit in that extra order of chicken wings? Make no mistake, the old Masters have a lot to pass on and only a short timeframe to do it.

Will young Garrett flourish as an apprentice Sworvei? Can his partner Azilda master the ‘Nesting Nightingale’? And who in hell invited the ogres?

Join this rag-tag group of ‘Protectors of the Realm’ to see if they can pull off the biggest upset of the Continental Games, by saving young King Renli from the clutches of the evil First General.


EXCERPT

“His name is James Lacie. Once he was one of the top alchemists in Cassadia. He was highly sought after for his many time-saving inventions and numerous elixirs. At any given time his shop carried wart remover, air fresheners, love potions, and something closer to that which you seek.”

Miss Mia turned back to her mirror and dabbed at her rosy cheeks again, humming to herself. Milo reached to his belt and produced a small leather bag. Opening the pouch he emptied it into the palm of his left hand. A pair of opal earrings spilled forth. “Closer to that which I seek, you say?” he inquired.

“Yes, a chemical fruit that when eaten would unknowingly render the eater susceptible to suggestion. A great party favourite a few years back. The unsuspecting victim would eat the fruit and was then told to cluck like a chicken or act like a coconut. Its effects would sometimes last the duration of a good party.”

“Yes, the gag would be much funnier if the victim was unsuspecting,” mused Milo. “Tell me, where can I find this James Lacie’s shop?”

“He no longer has one,” replied Mia. “It had something to do with a potion mix up. The king’s cousin ended up falling in love with a sheep, as I recall. The royal family was not impressed, and you know how the Chronicle can be when it gets its hands on what it deems to be a front page story. Ruined the man’s career, or so I’m told. Anyway Mr. Lacie has been on the lam ever since.”


AUTHOR Bio and Links:

Grant Reed has a background in business management, computer programming, and computer networking. He would much rather be out fishing though, so he spends his time writing and exploring the lakes in his back yard of Canada. He lives in Lively Ontario, Canada with his wife Robin, and their two children Aidan and Megan.

Gary Reed, his wife Kerry and their two children, Hannah and Kailey also live in Lively Ontario, Canada. And yes, he spends his time exploring the countryside too. Photography, fishing, and playing with his girls are amongst his interests.



GIVEAWAY


Grant and Gary Reed will be awarding a $15 Amazon or Barnes and Noble GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour, and a $15 Amazon or Barnes and Noble GC to a randomly drawn host.

a Rafflecopter giveaway


4 comments:

Reedg said...

Thanks for Hosting!

Goddess Fish Promotions said...

Thanks for hosting!

Betty Woodrum said...

I really enjoyed learning about both of you and your book! Thank you for sharing!

Reedg said...

Thanks Betty.