Thursday, March 14, 2013

Tainted Love by Erin Cawood: Guest Post and Excerpt


 





Is Writing A Form of Personal Therapy?
by Erin Cawood


For me, writing is a form a therapy. I suffer from chronic daily migraine with aura. It’s a long term medical condition for which there is no cure. My symptoms include light sensitivity usually natural light, sound sensitivity, a reduced sensation down my entire right side, nausea, dizziness, visual disturbances, the sensation that my brain has tilted on its axis, reduced coordination in my right side and I have a permanent tremor in my right arm and leg. I take three different forms of medication to keep the symptoms under control and they don’t always work. What does work…? Escapism.

There are many people who don’t understand that migraine is not a headache. It’s a debilitating condition that puts your life on hold and yes there are days when I’m just too sick to even use a computer. But then there are days when I’m not sick enough to stay in bed but am only in pain when the auras are aggravated by natural light or noise or if I do too much I lose the sensation in my right side. These are the days when I can’t go outside or watch television because I can’t cope with the noise and I can’t walk around because I have weakness in my limbs.

So instead I take myself off into my own private Narnia. A world I’ve created in my mind. I block out all of the external factors that cause pain and I just float away.

I go to a place where migraines don’t exist, to a place where I have to focus on someone else thoughts and feelings, their actions and reactions, what they said and what they didn’t say, where they are and what they’re doing. I put myself in their shoes, absorb the details in their surroundings, take the time to feel each of the emotions they feel, and I record everything through my finger tips.

I get lost and I’m gone for hours and some days I’ll take my note pad and a pencil, because it’s easier to write with pencil than it is with pen on these days – In fact, the weakness can be so severe in my right hand sometimes that I’ve had to learn to write with my left hand – But I’ll go back to bed and avoid the computer altogether.

Being able to write on these days has saved me from the insanity of boredom. And sometimes, I have to keep free myself from this insanity and be entertained for weeks on end. So I go deeper. I get more in-depth. I think more about motivations and ask more questions about a character desires or needs. I sometimes chuck them in situations they’d never find themselves in just to learn how they’d react, just because I can. And just because I can I’m evil, very, very evil. It depends on my mood. But I guarantee you most of the time I enjoy every second of it!

So for me, writing is a form of therapy, I use it every day to cope with a situation I cannot change and in coping with a medical condition that has no cure I practice and improve my craft every single day.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Buy Now @ Amazon & Amazon UK
Genre – Women’s Fiction / Contemporary Romance
Rating – PG13
 
 
For anyone in a relationship, the words ‘we need to talk’ can only mean one thing. In the last twenty-two years, the McKenzies have been through it, survived it, learned by it, and grown stronger from it, because life didn’t stop for breath when they needed it. Amongst the tears and the tragedies, the hopes and happiness, they’ve built something amazing: a happy family, a luxury lifestyle and a booming empire. Don’t they deserve to have it all?
But for the perfect wife, those four sinister words mean something entirely different. They’re a summons into a private world where what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors.
Faith has no doubt in Calvin’s undying love for her. It’s what kept her sane in the darkest hours. If only she could figure out what it is she does wrong… because it’s rapidly becoming apparent their tainted love is running out of time.





You have to promise me something…
Promise me you won’t tell a soul what you are about to read? Unless something happens to me, no one needs to know.
My babies, Georgia and Caleb, only need to know what I have told them. I am unhappy. I have been unhappy for a long time. And therefore, I have gone away to heal my heart, my mind, and my spirit. They’ll understand, for me, their younger sisters are part of the healing process, and this is why I have taken the girls with me. I have promised to return, and I will. Somehow I’ll find another way into Georgia and Caleb’s lives. But… I’ll never go back.
I tell myself every day I should be thankful for what I have. Despite my sad situation I have you, my amazing younger brother. You’ve flourished into an all-state star quarterback and earned a scholarship to one of the best medical schools in the country. I have three wonderful daughters who still see fairy tales and dreams, and know how to reach for the sky. The eldest has high grades and a warm heart for children in need. She’s taken herself down the path to follow Daddy into the family profession. The younger ones are a delight. Barely walking, already they have flair for drama, song, and dance. I see stars in their eyes and fame on their horizons.
And my son is… well, he’s frustrating. He can whip a top grade out of the bag without studying. But his priorities lay elsewhere for so many years. Then, one day he came home with college applications, a volunteering job in the community, and a path he’d chosen on his own. I’m not quite sure when it happened, but it was some divine intervention for which I’ll be forever indebted.
We own a five bedroom house in the Hamptons, with vast gardens where I spend my days tending to roses and uprooting weeds. If I’m not in my gardens, I partake in coffee mornings, which entail little coffee and lots of shopping. I no longer try anything on in the store; I donate it to charity if it doesn’t fit. I have lunch at the tennis club where I no longer play tennis; an injury took me out of the game some years ago.
My husband and I have a regular sitter and spend many evenings at the social clubs of which we’re members. We dine on lavish food, drink the finest wines, and dance past the stroke of midnight. I drive a swift little roadster, top down, through summer, and a tough terrain SUV in the winter. I have a lot to be thankful for… including twenty-two years of marriage.
Oh, how I wish I could tell you this was some mid-life crisis! That with my oldest children flying the nest, I felt my life half-empty. I’m sure if you ask Calvin, it’s how he’ll explain our sudden departure from his life. But it’s quite the opposite, in fact.
I know it’s been years since we last spoke, and how angry you were when you left. But there are things I need you to know, little brother, and these things I kept hidden from you all.


 
 
 
 
 
 
I spend my days somewhere between student world and fiction world, juggling the demands of a New Media degree with the many characters who demand I spend time telling their stories.
I love the world of contemporary romance, chick-lit and commercial women's fiction. I've been reading and writing romance since my early teens and the discovery of chick-lit in my early twenties brought its own special twist on my writing style. I love a lead character you can really put your heart and soul behind for the entire story. Thus, I end up sliding around and sometimes into the darker, edgier side of romantic fiction and taking the path less willing followed.
 
 
Connect with Erin Cawood on Facebook & Twitter & GoodReads
 
 
 
 
 
Next Few Stops
 
15th March – Guest Post at Tina’s Book Reviews
16th March – Guest Post & Book Feature at Up All Night
17th March – Book Review & Author Interview at Bits & Bobs
18th March – Book Review at Sniffer Walk Books
19th March - Twitter Blast with OB Book Tours
 
 
 
 
 
 


 
 
 

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