Monday, October 29, 2012

Dudes Down Under by Suzannah Burke: Character Interview: Bewitching Tour Stop



Dudes Down Under
Dudes Series Book One

Suzannah Burke

Genre: Romantic Comedy
Publisher: Taylor Street Books

ISBN: 1475220715
Number of pages:286
Word Count: 90,000


Book Description:

Dudes Down Under, the most luxurious resort ever built. It sits on a privately owned Island on the Great Barrier Reef, off the northernmost region of Australia.

No cell-phones, no computers, no paparrazi.

The Menu:

The world’s most famous talk show hostess and the owner of the island sign a deal, the result; Hollywood's 'A' listers all vying for a chance to be the first guests.

The Method:

They pay half a million dollars for the privilege of being randomly chosen from a barrel of names on her programme.

The Ingredients:
The winners, include Hollywood’s foremost golden couple. His very unforgiving ex-wife.
The young hotel heiress with a habit of driving whilst drunk and little else to commend her. Blend in a couple of famous expatriate actors

Add the tower owning king of power with an unfortunate hairstyle and attitude.

The television hostess and her film crew.

Add to the mixture:

The most politically incorrect bunch of Australian staff you are likely to meet, anywhere.

The dessert:
Cyril, who has impeccable dress sense, adores Al Pacino and Marlon Brando, drinks to excess, and has a fascinating attitude about well—everything! Well ... yes--he is a Crocodile, but he's family.

Blend the ingredients carefully then stand well back!

'Dudes Down Under' is waiting for you to arrive.
Character Interview with Cyril the Crocodile:
(No...I’m not kidding! But for those that haven’t yet had the ... er-um..pleasure? of meeting Cyril, be advised...he is a little um different, in an alcoholic, cross-dressing kinda way. No this is NOT a children’s book!)
The host of “That’s Entertainment” Chrissie McWilliams is a touch nervous about this particular interview. Cyril’s reputation of being Unusual has her a little on edge.
Please welcome my guest this week; Cyril Crocodile!
Cyril…may I call you Cyril?
Let me think on that …
Um … er … Mr. Crocodile; seems so, er-formal.

Yes it does…
Well then…?
Well then what?
May I call you, Cyril?
Let me think on that…
Very well then, may I ask where you were born?

I … Why not?
My business.
But … but this is an interview.
It is?
Well it’s supposed to be.
“Oh…that’s different. I thought you were just sticking your nose where it didn’t belong. Who did it by the way?
Er … did it?
Yes did it, your nose dear. Who did it?
“Oh well, um. The new guy in Hollywood.
Pity? Why..what? Is something wrong with it?

He should have stopped after he did Michaels .
He did Michaels?
Is there an echo in here? Still it could be worse I suppose, you could have had him do the boobs as well.
He did.
Oh…he heh. Big reduction hey?
No- no he … wait a minute, I’m supposed to be interviewing you.

Then go ahead.
Are you surprised to find yourself here in Hollywood?
No..that’s where I intended to get to when I boarded the plane for LA.
I mean, er hem are you surprised by the fame?
You should never wear pink with that hair dear.
Pink …are you deaf? You should never ever wear pink.
It’s so yesterday. It would work if you matched the hair color though.
Do you think so
Oh absolutely you must visit my guy, he’s fabulous.
Oh-do you have his card?
Card?…Oh how quaint. I’ll have his guy call your guy.
Which guy?

The guy who sets things up with his guy.
He has a guy?
That’s the rumour.
Can we get back to the interview?
It moved?
No!  I mean can I ask you some more questions?
About air travel?
No. Please tell my readers how you came to be here.
They don’t know?
Wow..who’d have thought in this day and age…I’m shocked.
Do we have the echo back?
No. Why are you shocked?
Well dear I mean really…I would have thought that anyone who could be reading this would know how I came to be here.
Are you shittin’ me?
No…no really, I’m certain they’d love to know.
Well, okay then if you’re certain?
Oh yes…please go ahead.
You yanks are a strange lot. Well my mom was kinda know went a darker shade of green everytime my pa looked in her direction. They tell me it was a whirlwind courtship, which of course is not as powerful as a cyclone one. Anywho..they had the ceremony, and he dragged her over the nesthold and viola 48 hatchlings. Does that cover it?
Oh …my.
Oh my what?
I … it’s just that it wasn’t…I didn’t…you shouldn’t…I really must go
I’ll allow you to call me Cyril
Cyril … you may call me Cyril
Oh … gee okay…thanks.
Welcome. So where were we?
I have no idea.
You’re the one conducting the interview.
I am?
That’s the rumour.
Oh. yes…yes I am. Um…is your wife with you?
Are you vision impaired?
Vision impaired.
Are you quite certain?
Well yes.
Oh…perhaps you should get it checked.
Because you can’t see that Sadie isn’t here with me.
You asked if my wife was with me. Trust me you would know if you weren’t vision impaired. She’s wearing the Carmen Miranda outfit today.
Oh …my.
Oh my what?
I feel quite faint.
You want I should give you mouth to snout?
Uh, no…but thanks.
Welcome. So, this fainting thing, how long has that been happening?
Oh around 15 minutes or so.
That recent. You could be pregnant you know.
Oh I hardly think so.
Oh. Why not?
Well, I don’t.. it isn’t as if…! That’s hardly your business.
I thought this was an interview.
It is.
So why can’t I ask questions?
I’m interviewing you!

You are making this difficult.
I am?
Well yes, yes you are.
Why what?
Why am I making this difficult?
I don’t know.
Have you considered giving up your day job?
Please can I just get a straight answer?
Well, who is getting a little tetchy?
You appear in a book, yes?

What’s it called?
Noooooo…the name, I want the name of the book!
You really should have done your research.
I did.
Then why don’t you know the name of the book?
I do.
Then why did you ask me?
I need a drink.
A drink, hey now your talking. Make mine a JD straight up no ice.
You drink?
Is the Pope Catholic?
My word you are in a bad way. Vision impaired, hearing impaired…and we won’t even go near the nose thing.
I think we need to bring this interview to a close.
Why, I’m just getting the hang of asking you questions?
I did bad?
Oops. Let me make it up to you.
Even I won’t go near that one!
How do you plan on making it up to ME?
You’re yelling.
Have I upset you?
Oh my, how unfortunate.
It is.
Perhaps I should go?
Would you like to come with me?
What? like …come… read my lips dear…with me?
Where are you going?
I’m dining with Al.
Al who?
Oh my God! There is only one.
You haven’t met, Al?
AL WHO????
But…but, how could you not have met Al?
The interview was discontinued at this point. The interviewer is believed to be making a slow but steady recovery.
As for  Cyril  well he is dining with … not on … Al.
 Don’t you dare ask Al who?
Authors are meant to enjoy talking about themselves, right? Wrong! It is so difficult to blow your own trumpet without sounding big-headed or apologetic or both at once … “I do apologize for sounding big-headed.” You get my drift? I can do this straight up or in my normal (Occasionally) manner. 
So here we go…I have had the privilege of having 3 books published by Taylor Street Publishing. Books one and two are biographical and written under my pen name of Stacey Danson. ‘Empty Chairs’ and its sequel ‘Faint Echoes of Laughter’ have been well received and for that I will always be so very grateful. They are difficult books to read, dealing as they do with the explosive topic of Child abuse in its most horrific of forms. When I was writing Empty Chairs I badly needed a release of some sort; somewhere I could focus my mind apart from the memories I had to relive. ‘Dudes Down Under’ is the result.
The book is Romantic and dare I say it very funny in an over the top, off the wall, ‘what the hell did she just say?’ way. The characters I loved writing. They became my friends. They gave me an avenue to explore strong women, vulnerable men, and love with all its faults and foibles. They also allowed me to explore comedic writing to its fullest extent.
Reviewers tell me they cried laughing at the comedy … and at times simply cried. I have a sequel (Dudes Does Hollywood) in the planning stages.
I have also recently completed a psychological thriller…phew! Challenges are something I never avoid. Only time will tell if my exploration of different genres will be successful.
Twitter  |  Blog  |  Amazon 
Well, blimey. This appears to be the last stop on this fabulous tour.
But, never fear, check the entire schedule from the link below and
visit any stops you may have missed earlier!

Bewitching Banner

1 comment:

Suzannah Burke said...

Laurie, thanks so much for hosting the last leg of my book tour. I loved the presentation of my character interview with 'Cyril'. In fact I enjoyed reading many entries on your blog, so much that i am now your latest follower.
warm regards from Oz.
Suzannah Burke.